Getting a little more serious about AB/DL

Created May 31st 2024, Published June 17th 2024

My last post was really off topic now that I look back on everything I've done on here. I think I really intended to some how turn it into some tech related site but I'm starting to realize that's pretty dumb. I mean the site is already public facing and if anyone read past the last 2 articles I posted then everyone would know I'm into ab/dl. In reality I'm kinda sick about being so secretive about it. At least online...

The truth is irl everyone sees me as being "too young" or "immature" for wearing pull ups at 29 years old. Their adult pull ups. I basically never do #2 although even in the last few months I've had some slip ups. More often it's usually just #1 and even that I really do try not to do. I'm not fully incontinent I just have accidents once in a while. As I'm writing this I haven't even had an accident in over 2 weeks. I could definitely mess around and force myself to use them but I can't just be doing that all the time especially in my current living situation. Also I guess I do avoid talking about it irl anyway because I'm freaked out about someone possibly thinking I only do it for the fetish. That's not the case at all.

Ab/dl has gotten popular enough to be recognized in non-abdl circles online which I basically never expected to happen but is actually making it easier for me to socialize about it, just not irl where to some extent would be good to have in the future. Like I need to interact with more diaper wearing adults. Not just in an age play or a sexual way but just to converse and learn from other diaper wearers. As well as being able to share my own experiences. I think what I really need for the irl part is just therapy and a dating profile. It would probably be easiest with a new facebook account considering it's got dating built in nowadays. I just need to be able to anonymize it a tiny bit for my own safety.

Even though I follow a bunch of different littles and ab/dl brands on instagram, I don't actually interact with anyone outside of a few public facing comment sections which when it's ab/dl related I try to keep my comments fairly clean. My love for the community is mostly platonic. Like even when I make up my own sexual fantasy to help myself orgasm, I do it using a fantasy that is actually devoid of sex. For example I might imagine being denied sex by someone and instead "forced" to finish in my underwear while I watch them get the brains rocked by someone who is more capable than me. The reality is that even before I became partially incontinent, (I think it would officially be called stress incontinence) I was actually already quite into cuck fantasies and even into "forced" feminization. BTW I put quotations around the word "forced" to imply that I would actually love these things to happen to me. Especially the feminization part as I am a transfemm afterall, that would essentially be basic mental and physical healthcare for me. Also because we are basically genderfluid now (we as in my system and I) it would actually be totally okay if someone called me a boy if I'm in a dress, only because the logic would be that this person is still thinking about my genitals instead of my gender, that's pretty gay if you ask me. The logic being that it actually plays into the whole gender fuckery that is the "forced" feminization fantasy. That being said blue dresses are kinda hot. Pink is still my favorite color but something about being AMAB in a blue dress is somehow the sexiest thing ever. Even if you're not AMAB it's still super cute but as an AMAB person it's like multiple levels of gender fuckery and that stuff gets me going.

06/15/2024

I was going to end this already. The original ending I wrote was basically me saying "oh that was a tangent but I do what I want" (not the actual quote but you get the jist) and I just wasn't feeling that ending. Nor do I have a ton more to add but I thought that ending sucked. I basically want to say before this post end up getting some crazy unexpected reaction from someone I know, that even though I might not be the worst, nor the best, person to become a part of the AB/DL community, it is definitely a community worth at least shinning a light on. I'm thinking less from the perspective as someone who actively engages with the community and more from the perspective of someone who has experienced the problems in said community. Unfortunately not everyone who gets into AB/DL does it with the best intentions. There legitimately are people in the community (even some that identify as being within the LGBTQ+ spectrum but not exclusively that group, meaning that yes there are still weird straight cis people in this community) that are doing it as some kind of strange way to get closer to children. These people are not welcomed at all by the rest of the community but do exist and claim to be a part of this community. For the record I'm not one of those people. I actually don't like kids. I think they can get pretty annoying even when they aren't regurgitating disgusting phrases that their parents taught them. Also I am a victim of childhood sexual violence. I would never want that trauma to be pushed onto another human being regardless of age but much less children. Even if someone (like me) says they were molested and/or raped as a child, that does not give them permission to be full baby mode around actual children. Even if their not being sexual it's weird and the context only makes it worse. It's way too easy for someone who's experienced trauma to relive or reenact that trauma. I don't even like the thought of being around children normally and much less while essentially playing a sub in bdsm, because that's obviously not something children should be around. I know there's a lot of good people in the community (I'd like to think I'm one of them even if I'm less active) but the internet is a scary place. If there's any teens out there reading this, you really shouldn't be first of all, but please try to spend less time online and don't even interact with this community. There's lots of groomers out there that might try to get you into diapers just to infantalize you and have their disgusting fantasies of having sex with a child, even if you are probably old enough to conceive one, while you're still young enough to appear as one even if you've grown a bit. If you see anyone that says they are into TB/DL or TBDL or tbdl (it's all the same but I needed to clarify because this community and even the AB/DL community will change them around to get passed censors) PLEASE BLOCK AND REPORT THEM IMMEDIATELY. Even if we pretend it's a real teen you're talking to on the other end (Which 99.9999999% percent won't be. I'm making that number up but I bet the real number has more 9's behind it, it's basically 100%) they deserve to still get their accounts banned and have police sent to their location for their own safety and the safety of those around them. Reporting them won't send the police over but you might be able to send an anonymous tip about their activities to the feds, depends mostly on the country that the person is living in, but if you happen to find out they live in the US, or I imagine most developed countries, it's game over for them. If it really is a teen you might be able to save them before it's too late, but since it most likely won't be, hopefully you catch a predator before they've done damage and not after.

I added a lot more here than I thought I was going to when I first started writing that paragraph but I feel like all of this has to be said. It's not off topic in anyway and make me realize that at least I can stay on a topic. There are parts of me that believe I'm too scatter brained to even stay on one topic. Mostly just because I literally am, especially when I'm writing about tech but I can't have my head go all over the place when it comes to this topic in particular. Tech is super complex, but it's also not even what I actually think about all the time. With tech being scatter brained is almost better because it means for me atleast that my brain is actively trying to remember literal decades worth of knowledge about tech that I've accumulated, and when I have to write about it, I operate in a different wavelength. You could almost say it's not even me.

The magic of DID ;D

Anyway I think it's time I wrap this up. I realize now I've spent 2 weeks on this one post. I do feel that if you look in the right place there is more good than bad in the community, but just be careful with the people you engage with online. It's getting even worse with all the AI junk. The explore tab on Instagram is full of AI generated images of young adults and teens in diapers and it's gross. Obviously it might not show up for you until the algo sees you searching for it but when it does, you are probably going to be regualarly grossed out just like I have been. I understand that not everyone who reads about this kind of stuff wants to get off to it, this might not even be able to get anyone off and I hope it doesn't. But be very careful with what you search for online. That's almost as important as just avoiding communication with certain people. The internet is scary and even just your search history can put you in a world of shit depending on who looks at it. I'm a little less scared now but that's only because I know what I'm looking for and I know to avoid conversation with people. I'm actually better at avoiding conversation than I am at having them.

06/17/2024

lol maybe my life would be easier if I didn't time stamp everything. I got Covid, got lots of brain fog today but I really need to post this up.